A Woman of Character

Micah 6:8-- What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

I just was going to get into my bible reading a little. Thought I would share with you all what was on my heart. I can not say that I have always been a woman of character, or that I will be the rest of my life everyday, but this is something I want to be. Something that I want to become natural, something that maybe I would not have to work on everyday. You must also submit to God before you can resist the Devils plan.

I know it seems I jump all over the place, but I am just speaking to what I have studied today.
Do you want to be blessed?
Psalm 1:1-2 states, Blessed is the man who doe not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law he meditates day and night.

If we could as God's children just apply the aspect of the bible... where would we be? Where would I be? Where would you be? I know if I would just put myself under submission to do what "I" know is right and what the Holy Spirit in me is telling me to do or not to do... I would be blessed and I would hold character that would please my God. 

There are certain things in my life I feel powerless over. I am controlled by them, whether it be your T.V., Phone, a relationship, anything that is above God and takes your time away from your call... It is a sin. I sometimes feel drowned, tired, but I have such hope, love and compassion in my heart. The Devil tries to sugar coat things that are not healthy for us spiritually and physically. He can make a litter box look attractive if he knew that would make us back slide or fall. We have to be ready and on pins and needles. We have to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit prompting us that something is wrong. If we are not submitting to God those things that seem harmless will be our down fall. We will be back slid or down on our backs rolling in the mud before we ever realize we lost our hold. These things do not happen over night but happen slowly... maybe so slowly we can not even tell we are treading  backwards. I have such a call of God on my life that sometimes it is overwhelming. I feel the pull and the call everyday. I like the saying you can run but you can NOT hide. I feel like there is many wasted years that I had that nudge but I just ran or ignored it. I have tried many things to fill voids that Jesus can only fill. This is not healthy and you just waste time that God has gave you to accomplish a plan while you are here on earth. All this just brings me to another scripture in the bible... Romans 5:3-4---Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perserverance, perserverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

This just reminds me that even though I was moved off from the place I called home in 1992 by my parents.... I can still rejoice. I used to think my parents made the biggest mistake moving to Houston, Mississippi. I hated Houston, due to the fact that we moved here and I slowly began to see my life that I thought was perfect fall apart. My parents moved us off to a foreign land and then divorced and then seperated us from the other parent. My mom took a long hard detour. Even though in the begining we were not 6 hours apart the path she took made us even further apart. She had a drug addiction and I just knew that I hated her. I hated her with all that I had to hate with. After all her family was the ones from Mississippi. She is the one that spiraled out of the marriage then spiraled down picking drugs and men to be her life. I remember yelling at her. I remember how I felt. I can still feel the pain in my Dad's voice. I knew that this was the end of my happy life. I knew that crack was my Mom's God and that Alchol was my Dad's. They were so caught up in there own little world they did not see the daughter they said they loved was falling to peices on the inside and running helplessly around trying to find answers, love, acceptance, and happiness. I was stuck raising my sisters... or if they were not with me and my dad they were with a family member. We jumped around house to house trying to find a place we could call home. My heart still saddens when I think about the wrong choices I made... the dumb things I did, when I knew all along where to run to. I knew that Jesus was there holding out his hand, extending his arms with never-ending, never forsaking love. But I was mad at God, I wanted to know how he could let this happen... With age I learned that we have a will.... guess what it is a FREE WILL. We sometimes are our own worst enemy. We chose the paths we walk down...sometimes those paths not only hurt us but the ones we care about and love the most. That is why it is so vital we always step back and look at the bigger picture. That is why I am convicted of things right now at this very moment talking to you.

I just know that with God's help and grace.. we are forgiven. We are his children and he is open to welcome us running home to him anytime. I would also like to share a picture of my mother and I. We now have a mended relationship and that is only through Jesus my Redeemer, that he was able to restore that. I am who I am because of where I have been. I will continue to tell you about my journey and how I can use all the negative for the Glory of my God.

Relationships are a daily battle and I will work hard on all of mine. I hope that I have left you encouraged by my life story thus far.... but this is only the begining so stay tuned for more.

Have a blessed day.