Saturday, October 22, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Just to ramble, to be continued........
So a little bit about the people that make my life FULL AND WHOLE... wanted to talk a little bit about my life again!
Let us get started!
I always like to start out with a little verse from my favorite book- Isaiah 40:30-31, Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall: but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
WoW..Isn't that so true.
Ok so now on to my spill for the day. It has been a while since i have updated my blog, but I have a very special lady in my life that really likes to read this.. So since she loves it so much I will make time to post this blog. I love serving my husband, my family, my church and my customers. But sometimes my human body can only take so much. Sometimes my mind, and body just have enough. Last week my whole family besides my husband battled the flu. You know what I was screaming... I DON'T have time to be sick. I am a woman and I can't be sick. Well I have come to realize in the midst of my sickness last week, that I must be able to find time to take care of me... to fix my problems, so I can be on my top game so I can continue to meet the needs of people around me. I find it very hard to do this. Maybe cause I am a woman. I don't know why I feel the way I do.. On a higher note... My life is Good!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
A Woman of Character
Micah 6:8-- What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
I just was going to get into my bible reading a little. Thought I would share with you all what was on my heart. I can not say that I have always been a woman of character, or that I will be the rest of my life everyday, but this is something I want to be. Something that I want to become natural, something that maybe I would not have to work on everyday. You must also submit to God before you can resist the Devils plan.
I know it seems I jump all over the place, but I am just speaking to what I have studied today.
Do you want to be blessed?
Psalm 1:1-2 states, Blessed is the man who doe not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law he meditates day and night.
If we could as God's children just apply the aspect of the bible... where would we be? Where would I be? Where would you be? I know if I would just put myself under submission to do what "I" know is right and what the Holy Spirit in me is telling me to do or not to do... I would be blessed and I would hold character that would please my God.
There are certain things in my life I feel powerless over. I am controlled by them, whether it be your T.V., Phone, a relationship, anything that is above God and takes your time away from your call... It is a sin. I sometimes feel drowned, tired, but I have such hope, love and compassion in my heart. The Devil tries to sugar coat things that are not healthy for us spiritually and physically. He can make a litter box look attractive if he knew that would make us back slide or fall. We have to be ready and on pins and needles. We have to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit prompting us that something is wrong. If we are not submitting to God those things that seem harmless will be our down fall. We will be back slid or down on our backs rolling in the mud before we ever realize we lost our hold. These things do not happen over night but happen slowly... maybe so slowly we can not even tell we are treading backwards. I have such a call of God on my life that sometimes it is overwhelming. I feel the pull and the call everyday. I like the saying you can run but you can NOT hide. I feel like there is many wasted years that I had that nudge but I just ran or ignored it. I have tried many things to fill voids that Jesus can only fill. This is not healthy and you just waste time that God has gave you to accomplish a plan while you are here on earth. All this just brings me to another scripture in the bible... Romans 5:3-4---Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perserverance, perserverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.
This just reminds me that even though I was moved off from the place I called home in 1992 by my parents.... I can still rejoice. I used to think my parents made the biggest mistake moving to Houston, Mississippi. I hated Houston, due to the fact that we moved here and I slowly began to see my life that I thought was perfect fall apart. My parents moved us off to a foreign land and then divorced and then seperated us from the other parent. My mom took a long hard detour. Even though in the begining we were not 6 hours apart the path she took made us even further apart. She had a drug addiction and I just knew that I hated her. I hated her with all that I had to hate with. After all her family was the ones from Mississippi. She is the one that spiraled out of the marriage then spiraled down picking drugs and men to be her life. I remember yelling at her. I remember how I felt. I can still feel the pain in my Dad's voice. I knew that this was the end of my happy life. I knew that crack was my Mom's God and that Alchol was my Dad's. They were so caught up in there own little world they did not see the daughter they said they loved was falling to peices on the inside and running helplessly around trying to find answers, love, acceptance, and happiness. I was stuck raising my sisters... or if they were not with me and my dad they were with a family member. We jumped around house to house trying to find a place we could call home. My heart still saddens when I think about the wrong choices I made... the dumb things I did, when I knew all along where to run to. I knew that Jesus was there holding out his hand, extending his arms with never-ending, never forsaking love. But I was mad at God, I wanted to know how he could let this happen... With age I learned that we have a will.... guess what it is a FREE WILL. We sometimes are our own worst enemy. We chose the paths we walk down...sometimes those paths not only hurt us but the ones we care about and love the most. That is why it is so vital we always step back and look at the bigger picture. That is why I am convicted of things right now at this very moment talking to you.
I just know that with God's help and grace.. we are forgiven. We are his children and he is open to welcome us running home to him anytime. I would also like to share a picture of my mother and I. We now have a mended relationship and that is only through Jesus my Redeemer, that he was able to restore that. I am who I am because of where I have been. I will continue to tell you about my journey and how I can use all the negative for the Glory of my God.
Relationships are a daily battle and I will work hard on all of mine. I hope that I have left you encouraged by my life story thus far.... but this is only the begining so stay tuned for more.
Have a blessed day.
I just was going to get into my bible reading a little. Thought I would share with you all what was on my heart. I can not say that I have always been a woman of character, or that I will be the rest of my life everyday, but this is something I want to be. Something that I want to become natural, something that maybe I would not have to work on everyday. You must also submit to God before you can resist the Devils plan.
I know it seems I jump all over the place, but I am just speaking to what I have studied today.
Do you want to be blessed?
Psalm 1:1-2 states, Blessed is the man who doe not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law he meditates day and night.
If we could as God's children just apply the aspect of the bible... where would we be? Where would I be? Where would you be? I know if I would just put myself under submission to do what "I" know is right and what the Holy Spirit in me is telling me to do or not to do... I would be blessed and I would hold character that would please my God.
There are certain things in my life I feel powerless over. I am controlled by them, whether it be your T.V., Phone, a relationship, anything that is above God and takes your time away from your call... It is a sin. I sometimes feel drowned, tired, but I have such hope, love and compassion in my heart. The Devil tries to sugar coat things that are not healthy for us spiritually and physically. He can make a litter box look attractive if he knew that would make us back slide or fall. We have to be ready and on pins and needles. We have to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit prompting us that something is wrong. If we are not submitting to God those things that seem harmless will be our down fall. We will be back slid or down on our backs rolling in the mud before we ever realize we lost our hold. These things do not happen over night but happen slowly... maybe so slowly we can not even tell we are treading backwards. I have such a call of God on my life that sometimes it is overwhelming. I feel the pull and the call everyday. I like the saying you can run but you can NOT hide. I feel like there is many wasted years that I had that nudge but I just ran or ignored it. I have tried many things to fill voids that Jesus can only fill. This is not healthy and you just waste time that God has gave you to accomplish a plan while you are here on earth. All this just brings me to another scripture in the bible... Romans 5:3-4---Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perserverance, perserverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.
This just reminds me that even though I was moved off from the place I called home in 1992 by my parents.... I can still rejoice. I used to think my parents made the biggest mistake moving to Houston, Mississippi. I hated Houston, due to the fact that we moved here and I slowly began to see my life that I thought was perfect fall apart. My parents moved us off to a foreign land and then divorced and then seperated us from the other parent. My mom took a long hard detour. Even though in the begining we were not 6 hours apart the path she took made us even further apart. She had a drug addiction and I just knew that I hated her. I hated her with all that I had to hate with. After all her family was the ones from Mississippi. She is the one that spiraled out of the marriage then spiraled down picking drugs and men to be her life. I remember yelling at her. I remember how I felt. I can still feel the pain in my Dad's voice. I knew that this was the end of my happy life. I knew that crack was my Mom's God and that Alchol was my Dad's. They were so caught up in there own little world they did not see the daughter they said they loved was falling to peices on the inside and running helplessly around trying to find answers, love, acceptance, and happiness. I was stuck raising my sisters... or if they were not with me and my dad they were with a family member. We jumped around house to house trying to find a place we could call home. My heart still saddens when I think about the wrong choices I made... the dumb things I did, when I knew all along where to run to. I knew that Jesus was there holding out his hand, extending his arms with never-ending, never forsaking love. But I was mad at God, I wanted to know how he could let this happen... With age I learned that we have a will.... guess what it is a FREE WILL. We sometimes are our own worst enemy. We chose the paths we walk down...sometimes those paths not only hurt us but the ones we care about and love the most. That is why it is so vital we always step back and look at the bigger picture. That is why I am convicted of things right now at this very moment talking to you.
Relationships are a daily battle and I will work hard on all of mine. I hope that I have left you encouraged by my life story thus far.... but this is only the begining so stay tuned for more.
Have a blessed day.
Friday, August 20, 2010
ENCOURAGE
God gives eternal encouragement and hope.. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17, state: May our LOrd Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.
We all some point in our life need encouragement. Sometimes that someone may be a widower, Mother, grandmother, sister, brother, Father, Teacher, Boss, co-worker or etc. I feel like if I am the one that needs it then there is bound to be someone who feels the same as me. I know my Jesus endured every emotion possible during his crucifixion. I know my God my father may be the only one that I can cry out to and Him understand my heart when I need understanding.
I know in my specific situation, when my back is against the wall, the song "Cry out to Jesus" comes to mind. I find comfort in his word. Today I was faced with a battle that I could have chose to be like the "world" and react with anger from being hurt. When people make up ridiculous stories to do nothing to bring you heart ache and pain when you have done nothing but try to be the encouragement you so thought they needed. I often ask myself why people just flat out lie. Why would someone do that? Anyways... I know that if I just pass it over to God he will make all the times I've been wronged right and there is no reason for me to make my character questionable. God wants to be our DEFENDER... he wants to be the one to rescue us in our storm.
I have come to realize today that I need Jesus to be my best friend. I need him to rescue me. I need him to talk to me, walk with me and lead me in the way I need to go. I need him to open my eyes, make me sensitive to His spirit and humble. I want to be the light that he has called me to be...
So if I am talking to you tonight just know: We have an awesome God that died on Calvary for us. When I sit and think about what I have come to say tonight, I think that maybe I am being selfish to complain. I have been very blessed. I have got a job, kids that I was told by doctors that I would never have without Fertility treatments, a wonderful husband that has forgave me for things that were unexceptable, and friends that love me for me. I have not ever lost someone that I was very close to, but I have been blessed with a gift that sometimes I feel like I can actually feel others pain literally when they are hurt. I love people. I am sometimes too compassionate. I feel I can read people, their reactions, their emotions, and I have a strong desire to be a fixer, to be a mother, to be everything they need to be. I have always wondered regardless of the mess that I cause my self from stupidity..... I ask God and myself, why do people feel the need to unload on me? I know that I have been blessed with a prophetic gift and maybe that is why people come..... I usually can offer just what they need and that is if I am right with God where "I" need to be. I trust that maybe you feel I am giving a sermon... But if I can change the life of one person.. I want to. I want people to know that I lived for Christ... remember that does not make me perfect but that makes me Human.
Before I go I would like to introduce a very special lady in my life and that would be:
Barbara Helen Chandler and some may know her last name as Ferguson... She is the woman I admire most in this whole world. I could only hope to be as kind, loving and selfless as her. She is my granny. She is the love of my heart, my earthly encourager and she is great. She is pretty cool too. She would give her last dollar and literally pick you up walking down HWY 8 after a argument you and your husband have cause you hit a deer, yes... this is for real. I refused to get back in the car cause he yelled at me. Yes I was crying like a baby and acted on my emotion and how I felt.. (sometimes) not the best idea! She was traveling in the dark up and down the road to find me. She will travel 6 hours to be in the prep room at the hospital before surgery when your real mother can find excuses not to be there. She is my HEART, If there is one person that I think that has left the best impression in my life it is my Granny. I love you Granny if you ever get the internet so you can read this.
In the rain....
Sometimes I feel like this little black cloud follows me around, but I will choose to praise you in the storm. I am also thankful it is FRIDAY!
From the Beginning!
I am a native from Evening Shade, AR. I was born in Salem, AR. I thought my life was pretty perfect. Had lots of friends at school and just about all the family I knew as family lived there. My birthday is November 15th, 1983. So I am now 26. I am one of those type that either remembers nothing or recalls what I do remember with great detail. I remember my first day in Kindergarden. Mrs. Ericson was my teacher. I even recall what that kindergarden room smelled like. The detail of the play kitchen even stands out. The most memorable time I have is not the most pleasant though. I still remember the day Skylar Sloan and Robert Rogers (my classmates) were tickling me in Circle Time. Guess who got in trouble? Yep, that right, Me! I would like to walk you down a journey of my life telling you unecessary things and how my life now has been impacted from a higher source (the present). I have an interesting story to tell. I have the story of what has shaped my character, and the person you all know today..(ME)... I want to leave with you a little scripture, give you something to think about today...or at least until I return with more of my story.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another love. ---Ephesians 4:2
This best describes that LOVE is built on two pillars and would not function properly without it and that is Patients and kindness. Love is the thing that makes all things bearable. It always gives that person you love more chance and more time to correct their wrong then what they would have in normal circumstance. It is people's most powerful motivator. It have greater depth than what our minds can fathom and roots that can make us react sometimes in ways we dont know or realize. God enabled us with a life long thirst for love. I know love has gave me more chances than my sinful nature has ever gained me. When I think of LOVE, I also think of GRACE. God's grace is sufficient enough for me and for you. God's grace and love gives us an outlet to be human. It does not give us an excuse to be sinners, we need to strive to be Christ like in all we do, but because we are sinners, JESUS has already paid the price for us to have eternal life in Heaven. With that I would like to say if you do not know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, there is hope, there is a way that is the truth and the light. You must proclaim it and ask Jesus to save you...
I hope you can be encouraged this morning with my little spill... I will follow up later today!
Everyone have a blessed wonderful day!
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another love. ---Ephesians 4:2
This best describes that LOVE is built on two pillars and would not function properly without it and that is Patients and kindness. Love is the thing that makes all things bearable. It always gives that person you love more chance and more time to correct their wrong then what they would have in normal circumstance. It is people's most powerful motivator. It have greater depth than what our minds can fathom and roots that can make us react sometimes in ways we dont know or realize. God enabled us with a life long thirst for love. I know love has gave me more chances than my sinful nature has ever gained me. When I think of LOVE, I also think of GRACE. God's grace is sufficient enough for me and for you. God's grace and love gives us an outlet to be human. It does not give us an excuse to be sinners, we need to strive to be Christ like in all we do, but because we are sinners, JESUS has already paid the price for us to have eternal life in Heaven. With that I would like to say if you do not know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, there is hope, there is a way that is the truth and the light. You must proclaim it and ask Jesus to save you...
I hope you can be encouraged this morning with my little spill... I will follow up later today!
Everyone have a blessed wonderful day!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
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